Cultivating a healthy relationship

Falling in love is the easy part.the challenge for couples is how to rekindle the fires of romance from time to time and cultivate the mature trusting love that is the hallmark of a lasting relationship.
Most times, people get into relationship because of the attraction they have for each other, or because of the opinions of valued personalities around them, without putting into consideration the active role each party needs to play to achieve and build a healthy and lasting relationship.there is also the issue of misplaced priorities where one gets into a relationship because they like the sounds and the  label.

What then is relationship? It could be seen as an agreement between two people who have a mutual goal and priority towards each other, or a covenant of intimacy between two individuals to live life together and be one's support fan.
However, there are many things involved in relationship which when put into consideration and acted upon may make or mar the relationship.every one wants to fall in love and live happily ever after, but not all wants to make the conscious effort to creating this fairy tale.

Many relationship fail today, because either one or both parties lacks the understanding to build a healthy relationship. Everyone in a relationship loves their partner, but it is pertinent to understand your partner and his/her view of love in order to avoid or limit conflicts in relationship.

According to Dr hatkoff, a California state university sociologist, there are different forms in which people view love in a relationship, these includes;Romantic: based on passion and sexual attraction, Best friends: based on fondness and deep affection; Logical: on practical feelings based on shared values, financial goals, religion etc, Playful: based on feelings evoked by flirtation and feeling challenged. Possessive: jealousy and obsession. Unselfish: nurturing, kindness and sacrifice.

Understanding what makes your partner feel loved can help u navigate conflict and put romance back into ur relationship. Two persons in a relationship may love differently, it really doesn't mean that one loves more or less just becks they view love in different light. What matters most is that you understand your partner and appreciate the little things he/she does to show their love, regardless of how different it is from yours.
When in a relationship,one should learn not to measure the success of their relationship by what goes on in another relationship, because there is no general formula for expressing love, rather the parties should learn to share new experiences together, because partners who regularly share new experiences report greater boost in relationship happiness than those who share pleasant but familiar experience.

When relationship starts,it mostly borders on being passionate, which connotes feelings or intense longing for our mate, but as time goes on, it might develop, if well nurtured, into compassionate love which connotes a deep affection, and strong feeling of commitment and intimacy. Learn to nurture and enjoy it, do not push away what is and what can be, because of what was,rather, look for a way to create new and enjoyable experiences.

Let the element of surprise not vanish from your relationship. Love, laugh, trust, honor, support and cheer each other .Do not forget that when life gives you lemon, you make lemonade out of it, those who think its too ordinary can remain thirsty. Relationship is all about trust and love, truthfulness and togetherness. Being a practiced prevaricator as most are in relationship, won't build but scatter the relationship. Be open and plain to each other (communication), and champion your course together.

© Akaeze Lilian

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