Appreciate your, "you"


By Chinenye Ozoemena

We often feel God made a mistake creating us "us".
I was walking to a stall down the street with my stick sweet in my mouth...

Yes, you heard me right. I love stick sweets.

Me sef, I tire for me.

Funny enough, stick sweet is a source of "you can do it" to me.

Laugh, if e catch you.

Back to our talk.I was walking when I remembered adults ought not to walk around with stick sweets.

Fortunate for me, I am not an adult.

At 20, you are not an adult? Yes, I am not.
Those that know me in person can attest to the fact that "pikin" should have been my name. At times, while walking on the road, I will just jump or shout spontaneously before I remember adults ought not to do so.

 I am a "pikinadult".
That characteristic among others is what i hated about myself. I often try to behave maturely so as to be accepted by people. It only makes me uncomfortable in my own skin.

My height inclusive. There was a time I prayed in tears for God to reduce my height. I can not even wear heels; If I do, I will become the center of attention and I hated it.

My melancholic nature too; I was and am too shy, I can not talk in a company of three, except I am very fond of the group(I'm better now sha). Whenever we had visitors in the house, I would remain inside the room until they left.

Also, my long neck; some people had called me to ridiculously ask why neck is long.

My walking steps too; it is, people say, "shakaralous"

My slender body; I wanted to be a little fat.

My childish voice; my voice is immature, making some people treat me like a child.

I also hated the fact that I have not gotten admission into the university.

I smile a lot. It gets some people irritated.

The list goes on.
I hated a lot of features about myself. I never appreciated my body, voice, personality and so on. I questioned God.
There were times I concluded God made a mistake creating me "me".

I had a lot of "I wish".

As I walked down that street with my stick sweet, I reminisced on the negative effect this hatred had on me. It dawn on me that I was only looking at it from a negative angle.

You know what?...
My childish nature, i have realised, helped me make friends. Make me feel my skin. Made me easily befriend children. I feel complete behaving like that.

My smiling face, improved my business.
I have seen people that what they need for that day is your smile, then they are all smiles. I am glad I have that contagious smile.

My height and physique, gotten the admiration of ladies and men alike. I have heard comment like "model go fit you", "I like this your height", " I wish say I tall like you". This is the body I hated o.

My melancholic temperament taught me how to read, imagine, and write. I have been able to create pictures in my head, think deep, and build a strong wall of imagination as a result of my solitude. This birthed this writer you see now.

I discovered I am better than so many "so-called" graduates. I remember going for interview in a company and also a school, where my application letter was requested. I presented it but was surprise when I saw the surprising looks on the interviewers faces. They became skeptical, doubting my academic attainment. "Are you sure it is only secondary school you went to?", this particular question built my self-esteem.

A friend told me, "'when I heard your voice, I thought you are the "anything goes" type but when I came close, i found that anything does not actually go'.  My voice is deceptive. I love that!

If I walk for you ehh? You will think I am contesting for a beauty pageant. Brothers and sisters, that is my walking step. Why should I hate it?

While licking my stick sweet, I came to the conclusion, I was not appreciative at all. These are wonderful things about me, why then was I questioning God? Why do I have to be ashamed of licking my stick sweet? Huh? I was only trying to fit into people's creame de la creame. You need not like me and my "me". It is my "me" not your "me". I can never be you.

PS: Learn to appreciate your "you". Until you do that nobody will accept and appreciate you.

You must love yourself for people to love you.

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