HOW TO MANAGE AN OVER PROTECTIVE AFRICAN MOTHER-IN-LAW

HOW TO MANAGE AN OVER PROTECTIVE AFRICAN MOTHER-IN-LAW.

The worst thing that can happen to any lady is having a troublesome mother-in-law who never agrees to whatever she proposes.

Most of this African mothers are just over protective of their children for many reasons. Well I guess it's normal to find such traits everywhere.

Some of this mothers must have gone through a lot to raise their children alone, so seeing another person with their children might always trigger that feeling of jealousy; making them feel like the son's wife has come to steal away their source of happiness.

What should be done in the process.?

✓ As a lady who is newly married in such family, make sure your husband never abandons her mother after marrying you. Don't  be surprised when this type of African mothers gives you a name tag for not making time to come see her. 

She will see you as the Jezebel who has come to lure her son into wrong doings.

Once in a while you and your husband should visit her and give her the company she needs.

✓ Competition will arise if you always invite your parents (bride) and make them feel comfortable but when she come visiting you act like she doesn't exist. Be loving and caring to her, this mothers go through a lot to raise their children. Don't make her start sweet-talking your husband why she never wanted the first place. 

✓ Give her a reasons to accept you whole heatedly, it will take time but nothing is impossible.

How do i tackle this problem.?

Now trying to make your mother-in-law love you can always be difficult if initially she never wanted you for her son. Sometimes over look some things she does or say because your husband will always be there to defend you.

1. Confront her why she dislikes you.

You might not like the answer but you just have to confront her and know the reason she doesn't like you. Most times her reasons might be because you're trying to steal her son from her.

Tell her countless times how much you love your husband (her son) and how you mean well for the family. 

2. Have a family meeting together.

Having family dinner will always be the best time to tackle this type of issues. Let your husband assure his mother that you are not the enemy, but the love of his life. 

Allow your husband to do most of the talking and don't opposed him, if you do his mother will feel you are trying to divide the family by making yourself the head.

In my observations, most times the reasons why some of this African mothers act the way they do might be based on the fact that they feel the lady is (barren)  yet to give birth to any child after couple of years since the marriage. 

Children are gifts from God, but some of this African mothers feels if the lady can't conceive probably a year or months after the marriage then the fault is that of the lady.

3. Live far away from your mother-in-law.

If you feel your partner's mother doesn't like you then the best thing to do is to stay far away from her to avoid constant fights and arguments.

You and your husband can choose to visit her from time to time but living in the same family house together is never an option if she doesn't like you.

ARE ALL MOTHER-IN-LAW THE SAME.?

The answer to that question is no.! Not every African mother-in-law is mean and opposes her son's wife. Some will always treat you like their own child. People have different personalities and behavioural pattern.

If you meet a loving African mother who treats you just the way you deserve, trust me staying far away from her will be difficult because in every step you make in the marriage she's always there to guide you.

Always pray to God to give you the best family, not everyone is lucky to have one. If your mother-in-law loves you no one can backstab you without her defending you. 

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