Toxic Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship

12 Behavior  You Shouldn't Tolerate In A Relationship 

12 bad behavior  you shouldn't  tolerate in a relationship

By Ifediogor Uche 

Love is a beautiful thing. It is sweet at same time might be bitter if not checked. Relationships aren’t always easy, and you and your partner won’t always get along. However, you should be sure to understand  when things are going out the wire. 

No matter how we tend to be blinded in love, we should never forget that we are humans,we are not faultless. Your love interest  or significant  other is a man or woman who has blood running  through  his or her vein. Therefore, no matter how much we like to pretend  in a relationship , we should be aware that everyone has flaws. However,  we also should  be able to discern when a relationship  is becoming toxic.

Truth be told,  Sometimes romance makes it hard to see the signs that you’re in a bad relationship especially  when you are into your love interest -You are drunk in love. 

The beginning  of every relationship  is always sweet, beautiful  and tasteful. But as time goes  on there are few things that can break a well built relationship  overtime. 

Here are 12  Toxic Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate. 

1.Lack Of Respect 

There is no way you will mention a healthy relationship  without  respect included in it.  Cultivating  a healthy relationship begins with respect from both parties. 

Everyone deserves respect in relationships. A relationship needs to be watered  or oiled with respect. 

The word respect in a relationship should not be neglected. It  shouldn't  be overlooked. 

Just as your generator  needs oil and petrol to run and function properly, generating light that will in no doubt illuminate the house, relationship  also needs respect to function properly. A relationship  that respect  is lacking will not stand the test of time. No matter what You are not supposed to disrespect your partner. 

However, a partner who truly loves you will not disrespect  you.  A partner who doesn't  respect you will create a big gap in your relationship, thereby attracting negative vibes and feelings.  Suffice to say, this is one of the behavior  you shouldn't tolerate in a relationship. But mind you respect is reciprocal. A healthy  relationship requires mutual respect. 

 2. Physical Abuse/Verbal/Emotional .

Physical/Verbal and Emotional  abuse, these three things should never be tolerated.These three form of abuse should be intorable in a relationship. Someone who claims to care about you or love you will not put you down.  Your partner should not torture you mentally, abuses you emotionally or even hits you.  Don't give room for this. 

No matter how you love someone, abusing the person physically will create a room for bad energy. A relationship  that is built with abuses  of any kind and violence  will not last. There is no how one can justify violence or abuse in a relationship. No matter how you try to paint  it. Even if you’re having a fight or a heated argument with your partner, it doesn’t give your partner the room or right to beat you, abuse you physically , verbally, or emotionally. It doesn't give them the right to disrespect you.  A man who truly love you will not beat you. A woman who truly love you will not disrespect  you. 

No matter the  circumstances , you don't have the right to abuse your partner. You don't have the right to  beat her. You don't have the right to abuse him verbally. However, if you are in a relationship  don't tolerate  this, except you want to end up in a miserable  way. Tolerating  this will be detrimental  to you. 

 3. Insults/Criticism

As difficult as this may be for some people to believe, love is not all that rosey. There are good, sweet and ugly side to it in every relationship. Of course, you must encounter  some purple  patches in one way or the other. 

The truth is, couples fight, argue and involve in arguments. No doubt  about that but that should  not give room for insults and uneccesary criticism. Making hurtful or rude comments should not be tolerated  in a relationship. 

Criticism can be healthy when done constructively  and not destructively. 

As human, we are emotional  being. No body actually  feel good to be insulted or criticize  in a bad way. Of course, many a times we don't want to be told that we are wrong. But there is always a way to do this, you correct with love and not insults. 

No matter the reason, you should be with someone who respects you and not raining insults on you. Feeling insulted  everytime by your partner  is a sign that you are in a bad relationship. Its a red flag all together. 

Your partner should bring out the best in you, and not the one to bring you down. You should not tolerate a partner that insults and criticize  you destructively.  You should not tolerate  someone who put you down, insults you and criticize  you destructively. 

4.Toying with your Emotions

Everyone deserves respect, affection , and love in relationships. We want to feel excited, happy about our  relationship  and life. Actually, that should be a prerogative. 

When you are in a relationship  you want to feel loved. You want affection and care, and not the opposite.

Being taken for granted can hurt badly. No matter what, there are just some things you should never tolerate in a relationship. This could be toxic to your relationship. Relationship should be like a flower that must be watered, taken care of to flourish and not toyed with.  Staying together with a partner don’t care about you, your opinion, emotions, and feelings would affect your relationship. A man or a woman should be able to connect with you. Care about you and emotionally available  for you. 

When you sense that your emotions  are being toyed with, give that relationship a break. Never tolerate someone who doesn’t take the time to make you feel special, rather toys with your emotions. Don't give room for your partner to torture you emotionally. 

READ ALSO : How to fall in love and stay in love

5. Trust/Dishonesty 

Trust is a key foundation  in any relationship. Onces trust is broken the foundation  will begin  to crack until it finally destroy. The virtue for a healthy  relationship  among others is trust. On the other hand, lies is one of the dangerous  enemies of relationship.

Relationship  built on lies will eventually  crash. Lieing can hurt, just as loving can hurt too. Lies or dishonesty will never keep a relationship intact. 

 6. Lack of communication

Communication  is such a wonderful  tool in every relationship, both close and long distance relationship. It create a bond and chemistry between you and your partner. When their is proper communication  and every other thing is checked and put in place, what binds you will be stronger than what separate  you.  However, lack of communication  can cause a big dent  in a relationship. Not being able to communicate properly with the person you’re in a relationship  with is a bad. That relationship  will not be healthy, let alone flourish. 

For the records, communication  goes beyond calling, texting, chatting and gisting.  When you and your partner can’t even have a normal conversation, or a meaningful one, it means something  is wrong. A situation  whereby  every little  thing you say bores him or her, the relationship  won't move forward. Whenever he or she wants to speak with  you he's always selective with his or her choice of words so as not to offend  you or say  the wrong thing. This is really dangerous and it can destroy a relationship. A breach in communication can increase distance in a relationship. 

7. Controlling Behavior. 

You don't need to lose your freedom because you are in a relationship. You can make everything  moderate but not lose your freedom and sanity. Relationship as it were inolves two adults with mind of their own. Therefore , it is not right controlling your partner and monitoring him or her of every move.It is abnormal when a person controls his/her partner.   Only a child gets to be monitored by his/ her parents.

Relationship as stated earlier  involves two person. It should be equal and no one should be  less import. There should be room for both parties  to give opinion and contributions. Relationship  should not be bossy, or in a controlling  manner. When your partner tries to control what you do, how you do it and when you do it according to their own order, wish. This will destroy  your  relationship completely because you won't express your feelings, opinions, to each other. An overly controlling  partner can be toxic.  A partner who control every aspect of your relationship  and your life without  giving  you  any trust or benefit of doubt should not be tolerated .This kind  of person should have no place in your life. 

8. Someone who doesn't support your dreams. 

We rise by lifting each others.  When it comes to your dreams and goals your partner should  be their to help you actualize  it. To encourage you, support you, advice you and back you.  A partner who doesn't support  your dreams should  not be tolerated. You can’t be in a relationship with someone who dismisses your dreams. 

9. Selfishness 

In a relationship, you are meant to be selfless, compromise. Put yourself  in your partners  shoe, and don't think of your own emotions alone. Think about how your  partner feel. A relationship  that is self centered should not be tolerated. It can't be you all the time. Carry your partner  along.

10. Responsibility

Any man or woman that can't take responsibility  for his action, what he or she does  or say would never take you serious  in a relationship. Refusing to be held accountable  from ones action is a big redflag to watch out for in a relationship.

It's impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who doesn't want to be accountable. 

11.Personal interest 

It is true that so many people enter  into a relationship  because  of what they can get from their partner. Because  of selfish interest  and not selfless love. Being in a relationship  for your own personal  interest to get something  from your partner is the worst that can happen to anyone. You are only concerned  on milking your partner for you own good and never cares about him or her.  If your partner cares more about your money, sex than your personal development then you need to check yourself.  You have to ask  yourself am i being loved or being used.A loving partner helps you grow and not to exploit you sexually or spend unnecessarily. 

Most girls act or sees relationship  as poverty alleviating  program. As an automatic  employment where they receive pay and if that doesn't happen it means the man doesn't  love her. On the flip side too most guys also sees relationship  as a means of satisfying  their sexual desire. Apart from this nothing again to offer in the relationship. Note, you are not entitled to his more by virtue of being in a relationship with him. Same goes to the man, you are not entilted to her body. You shouldn't  tolerate this kind of relationship  no matter how blinded you claim to be in love. 

12. Gaslighting  

 This is a physcholigical manipulation  where you feel guilt of something you know you didn't do wrong. Your partner makes your feel you are wrong even when you know you didn't do anything wrong. According to dictionary definition, To manipulate someone psychologically such that they question their own memory, perception and sanity, thereby evoking in them low self-esteem and cognitive dissonance.

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